Isn’t funny how all sorts of life skills help train you for all things kinky?
I promised, more or less, to explain a little more about my college class that involved eating rabbits and wandering through the woods avoiding bad guys.
SERE was a three-week required class offered between freshman and sophomore years at the United States Air Force Academy. The class is no longer taught, but there is a Wikipedia page available. SERE stands for Survival, Evasion, Resistance, Escape.
The Resistance and Escape portions refer to wartime prisoner-of-war conditions where the Geneva Conventions apply. The precise content is classified. But, surprise, surprise, a major portion was the theory and practice of “mind games” aimed at subverting/brainwashing someone. I was surprised to discover that the bruises obtained in the R & E training persisted quite a while — it was days before it dawned on me what the source was of a certain area of soreness. (more…)
When I play with people other than Sarah, I nearly always play in public. For that matter, when Sarah and I have the option of playing public or in private, we’ll often play in public. Playing in front of an audience allows her to go further — she doesn’t want to disappoint.
She also enjoys watching me play with others. She’s quite sadistic herself, and enjoys making suggestions. “What a lovely cane welt. Wouldn’t a clothespin look nice on it?” (more…)
This essay by Midnight Writer is used on the Old Tom Archive with permission.
This technique is a bit more subtle in use than the self-programming with affirmations technique I spoke of earlier; it can be used without the subject’s awareness. One should be very careful about what one programs with this, and what one uses for a trigger; consider carefully what will happen if the trigger is used unexpectedly, and the ethics of programming another person for what you’re programming for, and what will happen if the trigger becomes unavailable. Go back and read the more extensive warnings in the previous article, please.
That said, I used this on Babalon without her awareness, though I carefully worded our meta-negotiation so that she’d consented to it. Without her informed consent, I was careful to program for a fail-safe — if anything goes wrong, the programming is useless, but doesn’t diminish her quality of life. (more…)
This essay by Midnight Writer is used with permission on the Old Tom Archive.
Okay — I’ve had it with the angst.
I’ve gotten a lot of email on this topic — mostly, requests for the techniques, all promising to be careful with them. Some of the email was giving me different POVs on the ethics involved in making these techniques public.
Many thanks to the person who asked me how I’d feel if I’d heard that someone was trying to keep, say, an unusual flogger technique under wraps, because it took moderate skill to keep it from being dangerous.
I’ve been focused on freedom of information for a long time — I just had to have someone point out to me that it means me, too.
So, I’ll be posting on the techniques — from easy/safe onward to the difficult/can easily be misused. First, however, I’ll have my say on the ethics and morality of psychological manipulation of others. (more…)
First, we’re assuming the scene is severe enough, that holding position is a real issue. We’re not just playing tippy-tap. This might include full-armed swings with some implement — so let me first address the safety issue.
What if you move at just the wrong time? Is a full-armed stroke with a hairbrush on the back of your hand a good thing? Hands are delicate — anything wooden which was intended for your bottom but hitting your hand… could cause quite serious and possibly permanent damage.
In the case of a hand spanking, reaching back at the wrong time could mean accidentally bending your finger the wrong way. Again, this is unintended injury. If there is a missed stroke during a full-horsepower caning… well… even with Halloween and horror movie season approaching, we don’t want to go there.
There does seem to be common agreement that safety issues are serious, and non-negotiable. If the session in question is severe enough that holding position is a problem — in my opinion, that problem must be solved. Because, it is a safety issue. (more…)
This essay by Shunyata is used on the Old Tom Archive with permission.
There was a newsgroup discussion about sexual servitude, and where the submissive’s pleasure comes from. One person stated that the sole source of pleasure should come from the knowledge that his or her Master/Mistress’s pleasuring has been accomplished, and that they have performed their duty well.
I agree with Shunyata’s response, reproduced below.
I would say that it gives me my greatest pleasure, my deepest pleasure, perhaps the one pleasure that is most important to me spiritually and emotionally; but it is by no means my sole source of pleasure. I’m a very traditional man in a lot of ways, with a lot of self-esteem, and I’m a romantic. I need lots of old-fashioned give-and-take in a relationship. I need to be able to argue (respectfully, of course), I need to be able to be forceful, and I need to get my way sometimes. I need to be told I’m special sometimes, and asked for my opinion or my preference (I don’t necessarily need my preference to be honored, but I do need to know that my owner cares enough to consider it sometimes). I’m human, not some machine or character in a story. (more…)
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