Changing Pain Thresholds

If you’re so inclined, there doesn’t really seem to be a limit in push­ing lim­its. There are ways to push you deeper, and for longer. I have heard — but don’t know this from per­sonal expe­ri­ence — that mark­ing becomes less of a prob­lem over time. I don’t know if this is a good thing or not…

Keep exper­i­ment­ing. Are there ways to get you to where you want to be? You have a wide range of expe­ri­ence, and expe­ri­ences. Are there other tech­niques which may help? Phys­i­cal tech­niques such as sin­gle­tail or bull­whip? (Which like the cane require train­ing.) Mental/​emotional/​headspace tech­niques? Changeup/​change of pace? (more…)

Subspace: The World Within

A Webmaster’s Glimpse into the Real World of BDSM

It’s been a heck of a week.

At Sarah’s party, some­thing which has been devel­op­ing over a period of three years, came to fruition. Sev­eral of us have spent the ensu­ing week try­ing to assim­i­late what happened.

Part of it is com­pletely nor­mal “party crash.” It’s a great week­end, everybody’s hav­ing a won­der­ful time among friends, and endor­phins are fly­ing every­where. Return­ing to the Real World is dif­fi­cult for everyone.

There’s also some­thing called “sub-​​crash” or “sub-​​drop”. It’s a more severe form of the party crash which hap­pens to every­one… tears, depres­sion, the shakes, etc. Again, it’s a reac­tion to the high. It has a phys­i­cal basis, some­thing like the crash after a sugar rush. But there’s an emo­tional basis as well. (more…)

Teaching the Cane

Canes have a very dif­fer­ent effect from any­thing else wooden. Rat­tan canes are far dif­fer­ent from bamboo.

I order mine six or ten at a time from Han­son (now Pad­dlew­erks). They need to then be soaked, and if you like a more “nor­mal” fin­ished look, sand and stain or var­nish them.

If anyone’s seri­ously intend­ing to exper­i­ment with canes, send me a note. I can give spe­cific advice for avoid­ing the hor­ror sto­ries. I myself prac­ticed an hour a day, five days a week, for three months, to become proficient.

In the hands of an expert, the cane is unlike any other instru­ment. There is noth­ing to com­pare it to.

Okay, so you’re curi­ous about the cane. Now what? (more…)

It’s Sex Drawer Revival Time

Some­where in our house, we all have a drawer, box, cab­i­net or even closet filled with things we wouldn’t want oth­ers to see. It lingers near our bed and calls to us in the mid­dle of the night when there’s no one there to fill our needs. It shows us our true selves, gives us great joy and teaches us new things. I’m talk­ing about none other than your sex toy drawer (box/​cabinet/​closet/​vault). That sacred place that every woman needs to go every once in a while.

Real­is­ti­cally though, no mat­ter how often you turn to its con­tents, how often do you actu­ally upgrade your toys, clean them and throw out the ones that just aren’t doing it any­more? Prob­a­bly not often. At this point, are your toys a lit­tle run­down and ragged? Are you bored with a few of them? If so, it’s time for a lit­tle sex drawer revival. It’s time to pull em out, eval­u­ate and re-​​up your selection.

First, look at your toys and see if any of the mate­r­ial is begin­ning to break down. Sadly, silicone-​​based lubes, improper stor­age and plain old usage over time can cause the mate­ri­als in your toys to break down. This can be incred­i­bly unsafe, so make sure you toss any toys that look a lit­tle beaten up. (more…)

Public Caning Scenes

I use rat­tan exclu­sively. I use bam­boo, graphite, etc., extremely rarely — merely as a vari­ance of sen­sa­tion. Sarah puts the bam­boo cane in the same cat­e­gory as a two-​​by-​​four.

The very-​​thin graphite cane was a gift, and tremen­dously wicked. Its noise as it swishes through the air is very scary — and, thus, I pri­mar­ily use it for swish­ing through the air.

Canes break, so plan on it. There are things you can do to make break­age less likely, but they do break. So, if you lose a cane or two (or twenty), don’t sweat it.

In pub­lic play, there are a cou­ple of things I’m very care­ful about. (more…)